영작맞나 확인해주실분

I would like to talk about my mom. My mom’s name is Kyoung-an Moon. She is 52 years old this year. She has been working as a nursing home caregiver for about 5 years. She takes pride in her work. Her hobby is reading. Although she cannot read much, she does read sometimes. She is Christian, but she often misses the Sunday service when she is called to work. I pray that God will give her health of body and soul. I wish her faith will continue to grow.

AI answer

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잘은 모르지만 나보다는 잘하신다는....

She is Christian -> She is a Christian 숙제인가 봐요 열심히 하세요

잘 했는데요.. 제 생각엔 she, 다시 SHE 또는 Her.. 라는 주어로 계속해 반복되는 것이 좋지 않습니다. 그리고 단문, 단문, 이런 것 보다는 관계대명사나 접속사를 이용하면 문장을 충분히 줄일 수 있으니 그 연습을 해보세요. 간단한 예로 " I'd like to talk about my Mom whose name is Kyoungan Moon....이런 식으로 또는 AND, AND THEN, BESIDES,however, 등등을 이용 약간 변경하면 더 좋을 듯합니다. 참고로 OFTEN, ALWAYS, SOMETIMES 등 소위 빈도 부사는 일반동사 앞에 위치하니 정정 할 수 있겠죠? reading 보단 reading books가 어떨까요? nursing home caregiver..는 caregiver로 하면 어떨까요? 기원문은 will 보다는 may, might를 사용하는 것 아시죠? give her good health.. 로 하면 어떨까요? 제 의견이니 생각해 보세요. 열심히 하세요!

I would like to talk about my mom, her name is Kyoung-an Moon. She is 52 years old this year. She has been working as a caregiver in a nursing home for about 5 years. She takes pride in her work. Reading is her hobby. Although, she cannot read much, she sometimes does read. She is a Christian, but she often misses the Sunday service when she is called to work. I pray that God will give her health of body and soul. I wish her faith will continue to grow.

수정전 I would like to talk about my mom. My mom’s name is Kyoung-an Moon. She is 52 years old this year. She has been working as a nursing home caregiver for about 5 years. She takes pride in her work. Her hobby is reading. Although she cannot read much, she does read sometimes. She is Christian, but she often misses the Sunday service when she is called to work. I pray that God will give her health of body and soul. I wish her faith will continue to grow. 수정후 I would like to talk about my mum, Kyoung-an Moon. She is 52 years old as of this year. She has worked as a nursing home caregiver for 5 years, and takes pride of her work. Her hobby is reading despite the fact that she doesn't get a lot of time to do so. She is a Christian, but she is usually unable to attend the Sunday service as she is often called to work. I wish that God will give her health of body and soul as her faith continues to grow. 첫째줄 ..경안맘 다음에 마침표 아니고 숨표 입니다..마침표와 숨(쉼)표는 분위기 다르니 참고하세요..

답변 달아주신 분들 너무나 감사합니다 ㅋㅋ 이것은 캐나다에 계시는 한국교포가 해준 영작입니다 이대로 학교에 가면 문법이 틀렸다고 교수님이 고쳐주시는데 뭐가 맞는지 모르겠네요 ㅋ 위에꺼하고 여러분님들이 답변주신거 내일 가지고 가서 물어보겠습니다 감사합니다

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