i'm sorry... that's the first thing that i wanted to say... we are not suppose to end this way... we have prepared ourselves for the separation and we were suppose to say our goodbyes in good way with acceptance... happiness and blessings for each other...

my korean common husband and i had a huge fight today... and that fight got way out of hand... it went physical and finally ended up in a police station and him being thrown out of our condo building and finally banned....

for the last couple of months we have been facing difficulties and it was really very stressful especially for him... most especially when he lost his job... my salary alone cannot support both of us because of the deductions due to a cash advance i made for my medical bills last year. we've been surviving with the use of what's left of our savings and his final pay from his work.... and because of all the problems, we have grown apart... he started to blame me and as for myself i just really want to fix our life so everything will be back to normal... but he cannot take stress too well... so he thought, maybe separation will be much better for the two of us which of course i disagree coz i know that this our just trials in life and that we can work things out and it will be better soon... but he cannot wait and started to be so so so far away from me... i'll have a new job soon... i thought this new job will save us.. our relationship but yet still it won't help at all because he is already decided so i respect his decision and finally letting him go. He's been having job interviews recently with good results, so all he has to do is to save money and we can both start a new life separately.

Unfortunately, yesterday we received a call from a guy and introduced himself as someone from the immigration. He said that  my yoboya's name is on the list of foreigners whose work permit have been terminated or cancelled and so which means he doesnt have a visa to stay here anymore. the guy said that my husband broke the law and that he is already for deportation and will also be put into jail. then he said that they will give him a chance by letting him go back to korea quietly so he needs to leave the country in two days or the police or people from the immigration will come and pick him up and he will go to jail and pay all the penalty charges and then deported and then will be banned here.

Right then and there he booked a ticket for Korea. We had no other choice because we are also at fault because his previous work asked him to surrender his passport so they can downgrade his visa to tourist but we will need to pay the extension... but because of the tight situation that we have that time, he did not give his passport back hoping that it will be okay since on his passport he can still stay up until august so all he needs to do is to get a new job and work visa will be okay again...

i know how stressful that can be... he doesnt want to go back to korea.... he wants to stay and work here and save money before going back... but because of the call, he can't. he posted here in philgo last night asking for opinions from other koreans hoping to find light to this situation... he received replies and even made calls up until this afternoon and after hearing opinions from other koreans - they thought maybe the immigration guy is just lying and that he is a fake. but i questioned him, did he ask money? coz if he did not then what is the main purpose of telling him all about this and even giving him this chance to leave without all the embarrassment. 

he freaked out and that's when he started to get totally mad and hurt me... but i still do understand why he did that... he just really lost control of himself because it was already stressful for him especially waking up with all his clothes out and luggage... my fault really.

now with just a small amount of money... he is out there... scared... and in tears... i wish i could do something right now but im kept in the house by my family to make sure that i wont go out and meet him again.

he only have two choices now... either he face jail time for what happened today or he go back to korea. I begged the police head not to put him in jail anymore because of they do then he will stay there until offices resume on tuesday, pay bail, pay penalty charges, get deported and finally banned in coming here and not just for a couple of years but totally blocked... banned in entering the philippines.

i've been receiving text from him asking if he can stay eventhough i already explained that to him that he really needs to go back first.

i just really hope that he will just go and follow...

right now my heart is shattered into pieces separating from him like this... seeing him go crying and not knowing how he is.. is really killing me more. 

i pray that wherever he is, i hope that he will think straight and not do anything to hurt himself.... 

i wanted him to stay in our house at least for tonight until he leaves for the airport but the building security doesnt want to take the risk so he just really needs to go somewhere. and i plan to stay with my brothers while he is here... 

he doesnt have much friends... the only friend that he has is now in busan on vacation.

right now i feel like my husband died... with all his clothes scattered in the house... and him not being around anymore is really heartbreaking.

i do regret everything that happened today.... i wanna say goodbye in a much better situation and not like this...

"my yoboya, i know how scared you are right now, angry and confused... i really hope there's something i can do right now for you to lessened the burdens that you are carrying now....... but all i can do now is toi wish you well..."

I am wishing you happiness, peace and love during difficult times....